Red Vest

Time passes by and with it the questions unresolved. Maybe it's better not to think, but then, how it would be? The history of what we call "human" is full of thoughts about "To be or not to be", and "I think, therefore I am". But since I can see, I have been awaiting the chance to reason, to understand if I could be in another person's body or maybe introduce my feelings in other's minds. The difficulty is that nobody has truly tried it and that it's impossible to know if it happens. While my own imagination designs fictitious possibilities, I sit down here in front of a world completely unknown to me.

It was a different morning to all which I have ever lived in with a clear and flat sky. The refreshing murmur around me distracted me so much. Among such agglomeration of people I was left with no more to observe than the colors of the environment that jumped from one place to another, without ever be repeated. My eyes, like marbles, flashed with the excitement of knowing that little remained to see them, my magical story's characters. Soon, I will left behind only happy boxes, and decorative crystals. "Today is my day" I repeat seeing a pathetic teddy bear next to me. Then, I saw their approach from far, far away, from where their heads appeared as pins. They hugged me as if I had never seen them, and later took me to heir house, humble but very beautiful. 

I'm sure that it would not be for a long time, because until now I have not found anything eternal, endless. But I build up hope with the idea that there is no death, no limits between my inflexible body and theirs. Even so these concepts are forced to feed one another to survive: as for the wine that I have not tasted and water, which never touched me. 

Those days went on that way. I noticed the silence and peaceful state of the unanimated objects that surrounded me every time I open my eyes, every time they press this little button in my back. What if I'm one of them, yes, one of them due to my silence? No, I don't believe that. "I'm too worried to be unanimated..." However, I only observe without being able to do anything to change it. I wish to change the way I exist, which haunts me, as if I were unable to unleash my body from such complicated and even absurd ties in my back, in my belly full of cotton. 

Yes, I know what warm and caring arms are when you are afraid or sick. I know what is to run until I fall and get up, even, if all of it occurs in the mind. Wait, what mind? They don't even notice it. Yes, I have been experienced rage attacks and disconsolate crying and I'm good putting a smile after all that...without doing anything at all. I have also been tightened closely to chests crammed with joy as well as witnessed the rainy afternoons and powerless faces from seeing the drops slip off the windows. They seem funny to me, the simple mistakes of others, who cannot find something even when it's right in front of them, or who motion to drink the remote control instead of the glass of juice they have on their right hand, only for accident, like my "existence", in this piece of furniture with shelves. 

"It's better that way, the way one is being". Rather, resign or 
accept oneself to who one is without trying to exchange roles. 
I still remember the games of those children who laughed and 
fell down upon the lawn, tired, while they looked at the blue sea,
 after having to be cleaned because of the many ice and sweets 
that they secretly ate. When I stood in the wind until -without 
vertigo- cease the heart I never had. For instance, when they 
wanted and loved me. Similarly when I belonged to their world, 
when I did not need to see through their eyes with my imagination
 a true and real, real life. "Yes, sometimes we want and crave
 things that we do not have or could never have..."

I have spent many years here, in the same state, having experienced
everything and yet nothing. You cannot ask too much in a universe
of lies. Who's lying? Is it me? Am I selfish? In the middle of a sigh
 that escapes from my mouth shut, I feel the crackling of a door. 
Finally, I see a shadow in the deep darkness of the room, it gets 
close and reaches me despite my fear. As if I could get somewhere alone. Ja!

The giant shadow gently picks me up and deposited me in a  
decorated bag, once again. Then, it carefully guides me by the 
narrow hallways of the house to the door. There, outside was an 
expecting child with her big eyes making a radiant smile. 

As estimated, now and again I'm welcomed to another new life, 
the experiences of others from with I, more than anyone else,
am a participant not a player. In the end, being only a senseless
 toy, a doll with a red vest and poor quality pants, with false skin
and unable to gesture a word, being an invisible and nonexistent
passenger is up to each person who I visit, I now become. 



Practicando "el difícil" hace mucho tiempo atrás. Me dices si entendiste algo. 



Elaine. 









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